To those in the know, it must've been especially scandalous the night I brought Quinn and we made out on the couch in front of everyone. In that circle of people, I think they knew me as a dyke-y friend of Matt's, unless they went way back with him and knew our history. I went dark for a while after my assault, but after Quinn brought me out of my shell, I made my way out to them more and more. I ended the semester with straight A's, even while holding down a part time job.ĭuring this time, I was on friendly terms with Matt, and through social media, got invitations to his parties and his friends' parties. However, the crucial lesson is not to do it with your best friend, or any friend you want to keep…it is…fraught, to say the least.Īnyway, when we broke up, it was the middle of the semester and I did as I had done most of that school year, and just buckled down to focus on my academic pursuits. I learned so much about myself, namely that I was, let's say, 80% straight: I can definitely enjoy sex with a woman, but my heart and my lady truly flutter when a handsome masculine stud with a big thing wants to put it in me. Still, frankly…everyone should try it for at least a bit. I suppose it makes me a tourist in the worst way, because it wasn't nearly the struggle it was for Quinn, or for so many LGBTQ people. I felt so alive in the act of experimentation, in holding her hand in public, on campus, letting other people see something so transgressive. I do love her and will never forget what a momentous, beautiful thing it was to date someone of the same gender.
Needless to say, we didn't move in together that year. Literally, it wasn't until I congratulated her on her wedding to her live-in partner of some years when the Supreme Court legalized it, that she finally spoke to me on good terms. So we fought pretty bitterly, until I asked for space, which she interpreted as a permanent breakup, and her pride wouldn't let her be nice to me for years after. In retrospect, it's easy to see that Quinn was a bubbling crock pot of insecurities, parental trauma, and emotions around her new identity that no one could have squared. I quickly found out how jealous Quinn could be. Sadly, this extended even outside of the bedroom. But if you've gotten to know me by now, you know that that was way more chafing for me than fun.
Not that the sex wasn't good! Quinn was by far the most generous lover I've had before or since ALL she wanted to do was make me cum and then cuddle me as a big spoon. And while I wasn't interested in dating any men during that time, being Quinn's committed girlfriend was equally unappealing.
She dropped men like a sack of shit and never looked back. Quinn and I dated for all of four weeks before we realized some crucial things about ourselves.įirstly, I was (and am) not gay, but Quinn was very much so.
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